Stoner Etiquette: Lesson nine
welovemarijuana: Mkay, so at the end of lesson eight I said the next lesson would be best places to smoke, but I really just can’t even begin to make an entire article out of that right now so we’re going to talk about something completely different. (All percentages and statistics are made up unless otherwise said )
Lesson nine: To tweak or not to tweak
Often times when smoking in a group there is one person who tweaks so much they cause you to think they have clinical paranoia. Today I’m going to teach you how not to be that guy.
When not to tweak:
- When you are smoking in a secure indoor location and someone knocks on the door to the room you’re smoking in THINK FUCKING RATIONALLY. There’s only like 5% chance it’s actually the cops and a 95% chance it’s just your friend who went to the bathroom a few minutes ago.
- The floor creeks when you’re sober too. Don’t think that just because you’re baked and a noise comes from under your feet that your body is going to become possessed by demons. You just have a squeaky ass floor. Unless of course your smoking outside. If you’re smoking outside and the ground creeks go ahead and tweak the fuck out that’s just creepy.
- No, your increased heart rate does not mean you’re dying. Please do not freak out and have a panic attack. It can be annoying. Plus, you’ve smoked before stop acting like this hasn’t happened before.
When to tweak/get out of the situation:
- If you happen to spot an all black car with no rims, that looks like your standard cop car get the fuck out of the area. They are an undercover just waiting for you to pull out your bowl. ( This happens a lot to Midwesterners in America during the summer. )
- If you have a sketchy dealer who may or may not have ripped you off before and one day he shows up in a group to sell to you this is a good time to be a bit scared. You’re most likely going to be robbed. Avoid this to the best of your ability.
- If something in the room randomly moves on its own. This is a good time to tweak the hell out because it’s probably not just you being high, but more likely a ghost and that’s scary as fuck so get that shit taken care of.
- Chronic ( is the shit )